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Monthly Archives: November 2014

I Will Not Fear the Darkness

fantasy107I am more than the darkness that surrounds me, for I carry a light within.

The light pierces the darkness like a beacon searching

My laughter will echo through the abyss making that light only brighter.

It lights my way back to the sun, to the cleansing rain, and the energizing wind.

I will walk with unfettered steps towards the world in light.

I shall not languish in darkness, for I am too bright.

My light will not be extinguished, for it serves many

Sometimes only in the abyss to we remember how bright our light can shine.

I will not fear the darkness, for it holds no power.

I will shine on

I will persevere

I am heart and soul

I am love and light

These things are me, they are who I am.

What Fire?

night and dayWhat do you do when the fire is only an ember?  I’ve struggled with this situation for close to 2 years. How does a slave be a slave when that fire that calls one to serve is all but burnt out? Duty, that’s how.  For quite some time that kept me hanging on, it was a band-aid while I watched the world around me live the life I could see but not touch.  Trust was in short supply as was my patience, and frankly most that was gone as well. Submission doesn’t come quickly for me, at least not normally. It’s a slow process that takes time, time that most do not want to take. They want it all and they want it now, especially in a virtual setting, and while they may have gotten my duty side, only a rare few got the chance to see the desire side and most of those only ended up tossing water on what fire there was.  All save One.

Funny, how just a simple moment changes how you see things and who you are.  Did I know the moment it happened, well maybe a little? Now, those that know me may say I have anger issues, or even that I’m ….forceful for a slave, or maybe even plainly state that I’m not a slave. These statements I actually take with great pride, after all, I also get told what a great slave I am. I am a paradox of sorts and then there are those that truly know me, that for some reason can just see into the heart of me and who I am.  And then there was the One that saw through the hurt and the pain, the anger and frustration that would well up inside me that I could barely contain and keep under wraps while I smiled at everyone else joking and making them laugh. The one that made me stop in my tracks and just look at him as he laughed when I was talking about smacking people with frying pans, and no I didn’t make a distinction between Free or slave when I was swinging it either…metaphorically of course, I was and am a good slave after all.

He would stop me and give me a hug out of the blue, and then tell me it was because I needed them. And damn if he wasn’t right, such a simple thing and it would bring me to tears.  I think everyone realizes that the weight they are baring alone maybe too much when a simple hug or kiss on the forehead about brings you down.  He never pushed, never questioned; he was just there whenever I needed. He gave me the time and space to come to him, and I did. Soon I came to him with everything any project I started any task I had completed. I wanted to show him; I needed to show him.  I lived for those moments when I could steal into his lap for a cuddle, when I could do something to make him laugh.  I could just be me, and he showed me over and over how much he loved me being me.

Does that mean that he didn’t change me? No, I have changed under his care; blossomed even. I remember now, what I was like in the beginning, when the life held possibilities and not so many dangers.  Do I still have anger issues….oh yeah, thankfully most of my anger issues are..*coughs* justifiable ones.  Am I still a forceful slave, with most everyone else, why yes, yes I am. Does he want me any different, nope, He likes it, he knows that I am safe when he’s gone and no one will take advantage of me or my slave status.

So what do you do when that fire is almost gone, do your duty. It doesn’t have to be your desire, but if you do your duty, serve your village, home, and family; somehow it will all turn around. Take the time to find one that truly knows how to restart that fire to serve within you. It’s here, it won’t die, even when you think it’s gone, under the right hand it will come back to life stronger than before, and you…and even your new relationship will be stronger for it.

Want to be a SecondLife slave?

Sarah Ellis, Sept 5 2008So you want to be a slave on SecondLife, well there’s two things you should realize you’re going to be doing a LOT of, IF you aren’t a private slave and even then you may still be doing a lot of at least one. Now, I’ve been on secondlife for 2 years now, certainly not as long as some, but long enough that I’m not completely wet behind the ears, and I’ve been in the lifestyle a hell of a lot longer than SL.  SL has it’s good point and it’s, omg please pass me a chopstick so I can poke out my eye moments, but one things sticks out glaringly for me and that is…the Free and the slaves have NO idea how to roleplay together.

One of the first things you will learn now to do is serving. And 98%of the time, this is ALL you will do, all day long. You will learn the beauty that is the 10 step serve that’s some made up BS back when html text was the rage.  While, yes there are bits pulled from this quote and that to back up each step, the context is missing on just what the slave was trying to achieve and yes, slaves have motives.  If there was a Master she had her eye on, she sure as hell was going to be overly flirtatious with her serve even with her caress and offering of the cup or kissing the side. And yes, I’m sure some slave wanted to show her dedication to her Master by placing the cup near her stomach, heart and then her lips…but most of the time, slaves got you your damn drink in your hand and moved on.

Now don’t get me wrong, serves can be entertaining, beautiful, or just downright funny as hell.  I’ve done some I’m quite proud of and had a blast writing them; however, having a receptive and interactive audience helps.   Sadly, for most of your wondrous creative writing skills all you’ll receive for your efforts is them taking the drink and telling you to serve the next person all in one line.  Yes, yes, I know…your just a slave and they are Free so they don’t have to even do that, ummm yeah, the avi is a slave, the typist isn’t, if you don’t want the typist to go on strike, put some damn effort into your response!!!  I’m not saying there needs to be a 10-Step receiving a drink rule, though I personally think that would be funny as hell. No, I’m talking about a little thought and interaction with the slave before passing them off to do another boring ass serve to have the same thing happen. You do realize the result of this, is slaves that just keep their ass’s in their owners home because the rp they get is tons of work for little payoff.  That and have you tried typing and typing and typing as quickly as you can for over an hour straight, damn, if your wrists don’t start aching.

kajira-danceThe second thing you will probably get asked to do is dancing.  Personally, I hate hate hate emoting my dances, for one, you can see my avi move, and two, it’s another mostly onesided rp.  Now, I will emote a dance if I’m FORCED to, and yes, there’s that forced into it part, some might have to force harder than others.  My Master for instance only has to tell me and I’ll do it…I may not do it quietly and it may be one annoyed ass dance, but slaves have emotions and are expressive. Okay, who am I kidding my damn ass would be on the sands quickly for him, but for others, yeah, kicking and screaming would probably be theway to get me there, or you know at the end of a whip, that would probably work as well. Some may say that I am not a slave if I don’t go without a hassle, that’s fine, but even forcing me on the sands is probably more actual rp I’ll get from dancing, than I would if I actually did the dance.

There are those that love love dancing. That to me is wonderful, they can type out and work things so it’s beautiful, similar to a fine chef preparing a meal.  They tell beautiful uplifting stories in their dances about the love and desire they have for their Masters and even the Free.  My dances, are not so uplifting, they tend to be brutal, painful, and downright sickening.  Yes, I have puked on the sands because of how nervous I was. Yeah, I’m creative like that when I get pushed. Most of the time, I don’t get asked to dance. But then…you just sit there….in the silence… it grows.

And then, your ass gets told to go do chores, now this isn’t chores that you actually get to do WITH anyone though they will tell you it is…it’s a pipe dream.  I generally have two good responses to that depending on how it is, one is why yes I do, and I run off to some corner and pick flowers or hell just watch clouds go by, I mean, if they don’t want me there to interact with I’m certainly not going to force myself upon them. Personally, with some Free, interacting with them should be considered a chore, some are just damn hard to talk to.  The other bit, which is rather fun is I will find a floor that needs cleaning, and bring out the bubble machine. Fill a tavern with enough bubbles and sooner or later they stop asking you to clean stuff.

Now, I’ve told you the good side of doing chores, yes that was the good stuff; what’s the bad you ask, well that would be the note carded chores.  Yes, as you’ve probably guessed, I hate these with the passion of a million burning suns.  In fact, I hate them so much that after getting great rp somewhere and going ahead and submitting to the village and then was told about them…I cried I was so angry. And of course I threw a little ooc this is bs fit.  My belief is that yes I may be a slave in rp, but notecarded stuff alone is not rp, and if you aren’t having the Free notecarding their jobs *ie, warriors walking around on patrol, blacksmiths actually making something* then it’s just taking unfair OOC advantage of an IC status.  Do many agree with me….well a few, does it matter, not a hell of a lot.  And as much as I may grumble about them and I’ve done some really pissed off rp doing notecarded chores, one being stacking would, I can toss cut would into a shed like no one else, I’m sure they heard the banging sound of the wood against the back wall of that shed through the whole sim…or at least the surrounding 80M of it.

On the flipside, I’ve had some great rp interactions with the Free.  Most tend to forget that slaves were a small part of the population; most Free still did their own cooking and helped with the cleaning and other duties of the household. I’ve had a wonderful rp of helping prepare and cook a meal.  Yes, I had to cut up things and basically act the sous chef, but it was interactive turn based roleplay.  I’ve done this making cookies, roast tarsk, and a bunch of other different items and meals and had a blast. I’ve told stories, let me tell you, want to have fun flips a Disney story and make it a gorean one, peter pan is one of my favorites to twist around, but most any would work; although, we did once again set up a turn based rp, you wanted the next bit of the story, then everyone had to post something in response to what was already stated.  Did it take a long ass time to tell the story, yes it did, but it also got EVERYONE involved.

A lot of the time, most just don’t know what to do.  My answer, take a slave to work day!!  Not only is this a good way to get to know the slaves around the sim, but it’s a good way to learn your chosen skill set. Some of course would already do this, but others maybe not, but anything is better than kneeling for hours or just getting drink after drink.