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Monthly Archives: January 2012

What Are You Thinking?

 

It’s only a thought, and a thought can be changed. ~I am not limited by my past thinking. I choose my thoughts with care. I constantly have new insights and new ways of looking at my world. I am willing to change and grow. ~Louise L. Hay

 

So much of our world and outlook is reflected in the way we think. We mold and shape our attitudes by what we think. And how we think can be contagious. Whether, it’s the individual who can’t see the positive in anything, or that bright shining personality that rarely has a bad thing to say about anything; they shape the world around them.

 

Thoughts ARE contagious; which, is why it’s so important to watch out for the thoughts of those around you. If you’re constantly around those that put everything down and think negatively, soon, that’s all you will see as well. Thankfully, the opposite is true, if you surround yourself with positive people and maintain a positive attitude yourself; soon, your entire world will be brighter.

 

Having a positive attitude takes work, not everyone appreciates someone who tries to see a silver lining in situations. It’s so much easier to pass the negativity around and blame others for the situation, rather than take control of the situation and CHANGE it. Change takes work, change takes responsibility. It requires us to be accountable for our own attitudes. Few want to take responsibility over themselves and they sure don’t like being accountable either. They want someone else to “fix” it. Whether that someone else is the “government” or a new “relationship”, life would be so much better if *insert entity here* where around to do it.

 

If you are trying and working towards maintaining a positive frame of mind, it is going to take work. It’s going to take telling people to take their negative thoughts elsewhere. There’s a reason there’s the saying “misery loves company”, because misery breeds misery. Don’t let it get a foothold in your life.

 

Great things happen EVERYDAY, if you are thinking and looking for them. Revel in the small victories and miracles that abound in the life around you. Whether, it’s the beauty in a sunset, the laughter of a child…or the simple fact that you somehow managed to juggle an armload of groceries, while balancing the mail on your head, and fiddling the key into the lock to get into the house. Look at your life, smile, laugh, and ENJOY it.

 

No Limits Slave

 

“I’m a no limits slave.” There are few things that will make my eyes roll into the back of my head faster than that statement. Everyone has their limits on what they will or won’t do. Kids are usually on the top of that list and rightly so. Some will say that’s a “given” but clearly based on the number of pedophiles that circle society as a whole, it’s not really a given, and thus, a limit. There are also different levels to limits as well. And there are different “no limit” slaves.

 

The simplest “no limit slave” is the one that will say they will do anything, simply because they have no intention of following through with any of it. They just want to play an online fantasy and see how far they can “shock” people by what they will do. There is an inherent risk when dealing in the lifestyle as a “no limits slave” when people go about things in this way. As much as we would all like to think that we are safe and sound behind the keyboard, skype, yahoo or any other social network, the truth is we aren’t. You can be found and there is a danger that your no limits words could literally come around to bite you in the ass.

 

There is the “I trust my Master so I have no limits” slave. I can absolutely understand this feeling. The sentiment is wonderful. However, some limits are not about trust. Some are there from trauma that happened earlier in life. For those that say, well my Master would never go there because He wouldn’t want to damage me. Well, precisely, it’s a limit. Whether it’s one that ever is actually faced during play or not is irrelevant, it’s still a limit. I never had to use a limit with my Master; it wasn’t that I didn’t have them. I had them, but I never had to use them.

 

Yes, I have limits. Whether that makes me someone’s submissive or someone’s slave; well, that’s up to the Master or Dominant that I’m in a relationship with. I have limits that I know about, and I probably have even more limits that I don’t know about. *Masterly and Domly One’s have a very active imagination and I’m sure They have thought of all kinds of things I haven’t thought of yet.* I have more limits when straight out asked about things, and I have other limits I could be persuaded to do in the moment. I’ve had things that I thought would be limits; turn out to be nothing more than a passing thought in the moment. And some limits that the mere mention of will send me into a panic and I will break out in hives, really, not attractive.

 

One of my limits, nailing any of my bits to a board, nope, that is NOT happening. Now some will say that could fall under the “damaging” category. Well, not really, done right with a sterilized nail, any holes will heal just fine and may leave a very very small scar. Technically, one would be fine physically. But NO, don’t care. Reason it out anyway way you want to, no one is nailing my girly bits! I didn’t even like getting my ears pierced. Scat is another no way, no how, not happening, quite literally, you can keep your shite to yourself.

 

Other limits are situational. I have a few of those, crops and canes being the big ones. I have a really hard time with them. While I would like to expand my limits with them; they are two things that can instantly stop and limit play. I had a very abusive childhood and thus, it has left scars on my psyche. I’m better than I was with them, but they still are a major limit.

 

Then there are the “you want me to do what?” limits. The one that’s at the forefront of my mind with this one is watersports. Yeah, I so don’t think so. My logical brain screams NO fraking way. However, this is one I know that with certain parameters in place *REALLY CERTAIN PARAMETERS* I would be more apt to consider to because of my want to be pleasing. However, don’t really ask me what those parameters are, because my head is STILL screaming no FRAKING way!

 

There will always be those that say they have no limits, and they may have very few limits but they are there. Limits have really very little to do with how much you trust someone. Although, it’s a major factor in situational and pleasing limits, not all limits are trust based. I could have all the trust in the world for my Master, but there’s still no fraking way I’m letting Him nail my labia to a 2×4.

 

Ebbs and Flows

I am flexible and flowing. ~I am open to the new and changing. Every moment presents a wonderful new opportunity to become more of who I am. I flow with life easily and effortlessly. ~Louise L. Hay~

There are parts of this that I do so well, and others that require more mental work on my part. I am very flexible and go with the flow on things. Moving from project to project, taking what works and moving forward, and leaving behind that which doesn’t. I flow like a river with little diverges here and there, but still in a basic direction.  But then, I hit a dam.

It’s those times that I have some severe issues. When things are going along swimmingly and then suddenly you hit that thing that blocks your path. Not being able to see the path ahead I eddy and swirl around the block indecisive of where I should go or how to get past what’s in my way.

I am a worrier and over analyzer. It’s not that I fail to act on things. Once I make a decision, I go through with it with determination. But, I try to look at things from EVERY possible angle. I don’t mind risks; most great things in life require one to take a risk. I just like to minimize the level of risk as much as possible.

I find myself in one of those eddies right now. And to be honest, it’s not even one that I’ve arrived to yet. It’s just one I see coming. A choice I’m going to have to make. I’ve reached the point there my path needs to diverge again soon. And I need to take into considerations just where my river will go.

I’m sure I will have some help to get me past this little divergence. In fact, it’s that “help” that’s the unknown quantity that is causing me to swirl around in the land of what ifs and what abouts. And honestly, it’s why I’m best when it comes to relationships that I turn those things over. I’m so not good at dealing with them. I can guide my way through the things life puts in front of me…I can do them all, but one, I am no good at guiding myself in relationships. There are too many variables to consider and my brain goes nuts trying to think of every possible scenario that could come up.

I enjoy my stability of being on my own, even while longing to be part of another. It’s easy to be good enough for myself and not let myself down, but when you add another person’s expectations and then your own expectations of what you should be to them…yeah, I generally don’t measure up at least within my own eyes.

I know what I need to do in those times. That’s when I need to turn things over and stop thinking so much. But for me, that’s so much easier said than done. And it’s bad when you know yourself that you’re over analyzing a situation that doesn’t even exist yet. Sometimes, you just have to force yourself to go with the flow. It’s NOT always easy, but it’s always an adventure. I haven’t regretted my adventures yet, and I don’t see me starting to anytime soon.


Being Complete

I am totally adequate for all situations. I am one with the power and wisdom of the Universe. I claim this power, and it is easy for me to stand up for myself. ~Louise L. Hay

It always amazes me how many say that they aren’t complete until they are in a relationship. I just don’t understand that mindset. I have my yearnings fulfilled in the right relationship, but I am complete without as well. The only one that can make you whole is yourself. I’m not looking for someone to “fix” me or to even complete me. I am looking for someone who fulfills me.

I am complete as I am. I can direct and guide my life just fine. I just don’t like it. In fact, some of my biggest mistakes happen when I turn control of my life’s direction over to another. Unfortunately, that impulse and compulsion to turn things over is hardwired into my being. It’s learning and working to accept that I am complete as I am now, without having that other person that’s been a challenge.

By knowing that you are complete and adequate without another, that gives you the inner strength and power to NOT be someone’s door mat. It’s not a statement that really needs to be said as it will shine through everything that you do. There’s no need to shout “I am submissive hear me roar.”

I am assertive, stubborn, outspoken, and opinionated. I get excited and passionate about ideas and beliefs and love good debates. I do not like personal conflict and can’t stand stagnation. If I see an issue, I like being able to fix it. There’s nothing worse than seeing a problem and being unable to do anything about it. It generally leads to endless frustration.

Fan Giveaway!

Whoo hoo, it’s giveaway time. I have been so excited about being able to bring a giveaway to you.

First prize is going to be a collar!! that’s right one of my choker collars. With your choice of either the lock and key toggle clasp or a lobster clasp.

Second Prize is a Chainmaille BDSM Gorean Slave Bell Anklet

Third prize is a Copper Byzantine Bracelet.

 

There are a total of 220pts available.

  • 5pts Like Us on Facebook
  • 5pts Share about the Giveaway on FB
  • 5pts Tweet about the Giveaway *leave tweet url in comments*
  • 5pts Comment about an item you like from Aislinn’s Collared Designs
  • 100pts Blog about our giveaway *leave url in comments*
  • 100pts Subscribe and confirm by email to this blog *link to do so is on the left hand side*

Please be sure to leave a comment as to what you have done so that I may accurately award points. Drawing will be Monday January 23, 2012.

Have fun and get the word out!

 

Do You See Abundance?

I Prosper Wherever I Turn~I now see opportunities for abundance everywhere. I am blessed and prospered. ~Louise L. Hay

I am blessed with being able to see the opportunities ahead of me. I usually have four or five prospective projects in mind at any given time. I think it’s because I’m so focused on those positive opportunities that I rarely have time to dwell on the negative things that pop into my life. It is true that opportunities do abound if you are on the lookout for them.

This is not a skill I came to naturally. I had to learn to be open to it. It’s easy to dwell on the negative in life or to pass the blame   someone else for the life we led. It’s easy to forget that WE are the ones that lead our life there. Blaming others and the I can’ts are easy outs. We can wallow in fear because we don’t want to see the opportunities that are there. If we saw them, then we would have to take responsibility for not acting on them.

It takes great courage to not only see those opportunities but to pursue them. To pursue them requires risk and taking chances, there’s no stable foundation when you go after an opportunity. It’s an unknown, it could work or it could fail. It’s so much easier to not try. Better the fear you know than the fear you don’t. I can understand that mentality. I just don’t “get” it. Because, what if it does work; isn’t that worth the risk?

That last bit is what gets me hooked every time. What if it does work? Just stop and think about that for a moment. What if you had the chance to pursue one of those opportunities that you’re afraid to take on right now? I’m sure some will say that they can’t pursue those things because they have a lot to lose, okay, again I understand that. But what about what you have to WIN? And people DO win; simple ordinary people win every day and do extraordinary things. I want to BE one of those people. I don’t want to just exist, I want to LIVE and I want to be EXTRAORDINARY!

The Misty Road

There are so many roads to take in life. Some are safe and smooth others are pitted and bumpy and then there’s that road covered in mist and fog. It’s that road that has always intrigued me. That road shrouded in mist and mystery, which has always stirred my soul and challenged me with its silent presence to travel down it.  There’s never a road sign along that road, one is never quite sure where it will lead, and frankly, it would be too easy if there were. That road is always there, beckoning you, challenging you, do you walk down it and see what is being hidden by the mist, or do you choose the path that’s clearly laid before you?

The misty road shows up many times during our lives with the offer to take us down unmapped roads. There’s no GPS and no real destination in ahead. It shows up in those uncertain times be it work or romance related. Do you stay or go? What direction should you go? What is the life you are looking for? Many want certainty and stability, but who really knows if that road doesn’t open up to sunshine and a smooth and happy path? For some, it does work that way. They see that road pop up and they bravely take it. They seize the opportunity in front of them and confidently forge ahead. While others stay on the safe side, where they can see the road clearly and there are few if any surprises.

For me, I’ve always chosen that misty road. I’ve gone on some bumpy adventures on that road, but I can honestly say, that I’ve never regretted taking it. I have taken some very bumpy roads, the ones that you’re sure will leave you broken and scared before you can get off it. But, no matter how hard the road, it’s never broken me. As challenging as it was, I stood up to that road and returned its challenge. The road has taken me to the highest peaks. To the top of the mountains where the air is clear, the sky bright, and you can see the whole world laid out before you. If only every road took you up that high, unfortunately, many don’t. But oh, for the chance that it does. Those moments make every dark road worth traveling down.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost